Sunday, November 7, 2010

1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.
Irving St. (near UCSF)
Cost: $70.00
Phone screening and pre-registration required: (415) 681-7090

Facilitator: Adele Brookman LMFT
www.adelebrookman.com

Issues covered include:

• How healing it is to find and experience gratitude even during times of loss and grief
• Loss of hope and finding it again
• Missing departed loved-ones on this first holiday without them
• Long-held grief that has surfaced from past losses

Goals of workshop include:

• Participants’ stories are heard and cared about
• How participants can incorporate gratitude into this Thanksgiving
• Self-care strategies are developed for future holidays
• Experience gratitude in mind, body, & spirit

About this workshop

Part of an on-going Holiday Survival series offered by Adele Brookman for over 17 years, the Gratitude in the Face of Grief Workshop stems from her work with loss from the AIDS epidemic, Mother-Loss, Parent-Loss and Sibling-Loss.

Please inform those whom you think might benefit from this workshop.

Saturday, November 14, 2009
12:30 – 4:30
Irving St. (near UCSF)
Cost: $70.00
Phone screening and pre-registration required: (415) 681-7090

Facilitator: Adele Brookman LMFT
www.adelebrookman.com

Issues covered include:

• How healing it is to find and experience gratitude even during times of
• tremendous loss and grief.
• Loss of hope and finding it again
• Missing departed loved-ones on this first holiday without them
• Long-held grief that has surfaced from past losses

Goals of workshop include:

• Participants’ stories are heard and cared about
• How participants can incorporate gratitude into this Thanksgiving
• Self-care strategies are developed for future holidays
• Experience gratitude in mind, body, & spirit

About this workshop

Part of an on-going Holiday Survival series offered by Adele Brookman for over 16 years, the Gratitude in the Face of Grief Workshop stems from her work with loss from the AIDS epidemic, Mother-Loss, Parent-Loss and Sibling-Loss.

Please inform those whom you think might benefit from this workshop.

AnnouncingPost-Holiday Grief Debriefing WorkshopBack by Popular Demand
Saturday, January 5, 200812:30 – 4:30527 Irving St. (near UCSF)Cost:  $80.00Phone screening and pre-registration required: (415) 681-7090Facilitator: Adele Brookman LMFT
Issues covered include: Grief over holiday behaviors like over-spending/eating/drinking, on the part of oneself or loved ones Loss of a dream Missing departed loved-ones on this first holiday without them Long-held grief that has surfaced from past losses
Goals of workshop include: Participants’ stories are heard and cared about Self-care strategies are developed for future holidays
About this workshopPart of an on-going Holiday Survival series led by Adele Brookman for over ten years, the Post-Holiday Grief Debriefing Workshop stems from her work with loss from the AIDS epidemic, Mother-Loss, Parent-Loss and Sibling-Loss.
“This year great need has been expressed for me to resurrect this workshop.”— Adele Brookman

Please inform those whom you think might benefit from this workshop.

Issues covered include:

• Grief, whether your relationship was close , complicated, or challenging
• Loneliness, feeling bereft when others celebrate the day with their mothers
• Missing mother on this first Mother’s Day without her
• Long-held grief that has surfaced about losing your mother long ago

Goals of workshop include:

• Participants’ stories and needs are heard and cared about
• Self-care strategies are developed for future Mother’s Days
• Remember Mother and yourself in a special way on this significant day

About this workshop and the facilitator:
Part of an on-going ‘Holiday Survival’ series led by Adele Brookman for over 15 years. The workshop series stems from her 30+ years in general private practice with survivors of dysfunctional families, and with people grieving the AIDS and cancer epidemics, Mother-Loss, Father-Loss and Sibling-Loss.

Please inform those whom you think might benefit from this workshop.

On Mother’s Day
Sunday, May 9, 2010 1:30 – 5:30
7th & Irving St. (near UCSF)
Cost: $80.00
Phone screening and pre-registration required: (415) 681-7090
Facilitator: Adele Brookman LMFT

www.adelebrookman.com

Announcing

“Spring Can Really Hang You Up The Most”

Here’s a rewarding activity from my group around the time of the vernal equinox. It focuses our attention on the polarities and balances of our lives. Most importantly, it awakens possibilities for new growth. So it’s valuable to do it at any point during spring or summer planting season (Well, I guess that could be during any season here in California where we’re lucky enough to grow gardens all year long!) I call it:

Preparing Your Soil for New Growth

1) Cut out pictures and words from magazines or draw your own pictures/write your own words that depict/express the “garbage,” or things you’d like to eliminate from your life — inner or outer.

2) Put them in a box or a bag. This represents your compost bin.

3) Put this compost container into a bigger bag or box (or any kind of container will do).

4) Then, again find and cut out words and pictures or do drawings which express things that are good and rich about you which you want to keep and desire to develop further. These, together with your “compost,” form the nutrients which will fertilize your inner soil for new growth.

5) Lastly, for the outside of your larger box or bag, cut out pictures, words, drawings, of all that you wish to grow, bring to fruition, emotionally and externally in your life.

Put your creation in a prominent place where you can admire it often and reinforce your intention for positive new growth.

During the course of a busy day, take a few minutes to go on “purposeful pilot.” Stop. Look inside with your mind’s eye. Listen to yourself. Pay attention to how you feel at that very moment. Notice your breath. In fact, notice if you are breathing. So often when either zooming around on automatic pilot, or “vegging out” and ruminating on frustrations, we hold our breath without even realizing it. Or we hyperventilate, leading to runaway thoughts and bodily tensions we aren’t even aware of until we stop and pay attention to ourselves.

Attend to your breath. Notice its tempo, exhale, and allow it to slow down. Notice where your breath is going in your torso, and gently guide it lower down, till you are having low, slow, deep breaths into your diaphragm or abdomen. Imagine each in-breath is breathing in relaxation and encouragement, and each exhalation is breathing out tension and discouragement.

Conclude with noticing the positive effect this has on your body and your mental outlook.

1. Do unto yourself as you would do unto others.

   Start with the basics of optimal physical comfort — balanced nutrition, rest, exercise, clothing and hygiene — just as you’d want to provide for a child or a dear friend.

2. Remember to breathe.

   Nurture yourself by giving yourself the full, deep belly breaths you deserve.

3. Balance activity with stillness.

   It’s beneficial to slow down and even stop. Rest, daydream and replenish your depleted energy. Some form of spiritual practice like yoga or meditation gives you permission by making it “official.” But also allow yourself to get moving on things that need to be done. Relaxation and stillness to the point of procrastination only raise your stress level.

4. Set limits.

   Notice what yours are and care for them. If you try to be all things to all people, you may wind up with no sense of self.

5. Imagine.

   Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. When you think about the future, picture the most positive scenario rather than the most catastrophic drama.

6. “Count your blessings”

   That corny old song actually makes a lot of sense, especially in times of great need. Note what you do have.

7. Admire the achievements of others.

   View others’ triumphs and successes as a stimulus for finding hope. Use them as an opportunity to see how much is possible rather than get into the confinement of comparison.

8. Face your struggles

   Whenever you can, whether it’s doing something you’re afraid of or confronting someone or something uncomfortable for you, go through it and do it. You will wind up feeling empowered instead of helpless.

9. Ask for support

   Sometimes all your own self-care, compassion and courage just aren’t enough. Some problems require professional help. Getting professional counsel for psychersise can be a most self-caring act.

10. Re-create yourself.

    Do enjoyable recreational activities that excite or soothe you. Sing, dance, play ball, act goofy, be lazy, have sex. You’re never too old to take out your crayons and paints! (or be sexual).

11. Remember your sense of humor.

    ” Be a fundamentalist,” as my favorite guru, Swami Beyondandanda (AKA Steve Bhaerman) says. “Make sure the fun always comes before the mental…Have a good laughsative twice a day, and that will insure regularhilarity.”

12. Embrace the full range of your feelings.

    They say that laughter gives an internal massage. That’s true of a good cry too. Strive to accept with compassion your times of sadness, anger and pain.

13. Beware the poison of perfectionism.

    Use these psychercises as affirmations or explorations, not as one more oppressive list of tasks or rules that you could use to trash yourself with if not done exactly right immediately.

While this program may seem simple, the challenge is to begin and maintain it. The Replenishing groups, workshops, individual and couple therapy I offer are designed to get you started with Psychercise and keep you on track.

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life

—Adele Brookman, Psychotherapist

Point #5 of my “Psychercise” article really gets around. Over the years since its inception, it has found its way into several kinds of publications — everything from professional and employee newsletters, a book, a rather famous magazine, an inspirational calendar, and an inspirational website. There may more out there that I don’t even know about. So please let me know of any “Use your imagination…” spottings that you happen upon. Here are the specifics so far:

• Random House Webster’s Quotationary Leonard R. Frank, Editor November 24, 1998
• O The Oprah Magazine in the “O to go” section November 2001
• 2005 Year In A Box Calendar — Achieve Your Dreams Motivational Quotes for Success Philip and Karen Smith, Imagine State Publishing
• beliefnet web site, “Daily Inspiration” quote February 22, 2007

12:30 – 4:30

7th & Irving St. (near UCSF)
Cost:  $80.00

Phone screening and pre-registration required: (415) 681-7090

Facilitator: Adele Brookman LMFT

While holidays are a time to celebrate, they can bring forth sadness because of expectations associated with them.  This workshop will address the particular angst connected to Valentine’s Day.

Issues covered include:

• Grief over loss of romance in your life
• Loneliness, feeling unwanted, toxic comparison with others
• Missing departed loved-ones on this first Valentine’s Day without them
• Long-held grief that has surfaced about past relationships

Goals of workshop include:

• Participants’ stories and needs are heard and cared about
• Self-care strategies are developed for being your own best Valentine on this February 14 and beyond

About this workshop and the facilitator: Part of an on-going ‘Holiday Survival’ series led by Adele Brookman for over 16 years. The workshop series stems from her 30+ years in general private practice with survivors of dysfunctional families, and with people grieving the AIDS  and cancer epidemics, Mother-Loss, Parent-Loss and Sibling-Loss.

Upcoming Workshops:

• Spring Holiday Survival
• Mother’s Day Workshop for Motherless Women